Overthinking Out Loud

“If it hasn’t passed peer-review, it doesn’t exist.” This is the mantra pounded into the head of every PhD student. After four years of this conditioning, I emerged with my five components of belonging. The model began with a thorough literature review of many keywords across several disciplines: I-O psych, ed psych, social psych, management, leadership… Also, when you’re writing a dissertation, there are no books, podcasts, or social life. You’re head down in the only source of information that exists: peer-reviewed sources of your research topic. If you’re a high-performing female terrified you’ll miss something, you attempt to read ALLL of that research. Every.Last.Bit. Twice in case you missed something the first time. Then you graduate. Then you go on organizational webcasts. You give your TEDx talk. THEN, only AFTER ALLLLLLL of this, you try to title your TEDx YouTube upload to reflect YOUR ENTIRELY ORIGINAL IDEA. The punchline at the end of your talk that came from the magical c...

  “Do you want to go to a movie this afternoon?” The text arrived on a Wednesday. Right in the middle of the week. I was so flabbergasted that I didn’t know how to answer the question.  Meet my constant companion, Routine, a good friend but an absolute taskmaster.  You see, when you move countries often (or train others for the expat life), Routine becomes your best friend. You survive the move and eventually become productive by sticking to the Routine. This ensures your teeth are brushed, family meals are planned, and the expense reports get filed. All the mundane tasks are taken care of so you can focus on The Work, whatever you moved overseas to do. When you have ADHD, Routine becomes your best friend. This enables you to actually get dressed, fed, and into The Office (even if The Office is 15 feet from your bed) and get stuff done. The rituals and rhythms of setting all the reminders and alarms on Sundays, clearing the desk every evening, checking the calendar every ...

  One of the things I miss most about expat life is living in a country with only one TV station. The Belonging LadyTM LOVED watching the 9 pm novela with AN ENTIRE COUNTRY. And the awkward kid inside me was SO RELIEVED to have something to make small talk about with ANYONE! “Will Tiago ever realize he really loves Maria? Will Maria ever overcome the death of her mother?” stay tuned… In England, we had the BBC and whatever show was playing in the 9 pm slot that evening. Either we were dancing with Strictly, playing pranks with Michael McIntyre, or solving murders with some middle-aged, dumpy savant in the backwoods of Great Britain. We were together, united in our lack of choice.  It’s rare that we have this opportunity in the USA to jump on a bandwagon. As I-O psychologists, we have our patron saint, Adam Grant, who we religiously follow and whose tagline (“Making work not suck”) we freely steal. As social science researchers, we devour every offering that Brene Brown serves ...